It was a learning curve for me to see God’s redemption as a free gift and not something I had to earn. I think that although the Bible clearly says we are saved by grace and not works, the church of this day does not always practice what it preaches. Most of us who grew up in church would say that we definitely felt there were hoops to jump through and boxes to fit in. I will once a again repeat what my counselor said to me, “Jesus loves you, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. In the book, The Furious Longing of God, the author, Brennan Manning says, “For His (God’s) love is never, never, never based on our performance, never conditioned by our moods-elation or depression. The furious love of God knows no shadow of alteration or change. It is reliable. And always tender”.
I started studying God’s love for me. In Ephesians 3:16-19 Paul prays, “That according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and height and depth, and to know the love of God that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God”.
I am convinced, that as we begin to know the love of God, and that He is for us and not against us, it gives us strength to overcome. Run to His arms. He sees your heart of despair. He wants to help you!