In this part of my story, I am in a new church that is telling me about God’s mercy and grace. Before going there, all I had heard about was how much I had to do to get God’s approval and love. Suddenly, I was encountering a God that looked past my stuff, and saw me.
Meanwhile, I am starting to get some professional help. The first counselor I saw diagnosed me as ADD and just wanted to put me on Ritalin. The second counselor I saw wanted to discuss how my parents were totally the problem. I was confused, and ready to give up on that avenue of help, when a friend gave me a name of her counselor. I decided to give it one more try.
When I walked into this counselor’s office, my first impression was that she looked like Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies (a sitcom from the 1960’s). She was older, with a wig that had a little gray bun on the top, AND she looked a little harsh. Needless to say, I was a little apprehensive.
She told me first that she was a Christian, and that she would only speak as one, if that was okay with me. It was okay with me, so she said we would pray with me after every session, and she would counsel me as a Christian.
In the first session, I don’t even remember all we talked about. but I so remember the most profound (yet simple) thing she said. She said “Jesus loves you, this I know, for the Bible tells me so”. That phrase is from a church Sunday school song that most all church going kids learn by 3 years old. I had sung it too as a child.
She had gotten right to the heart of the matter. I felt unloved by God, myself, and everyone else. Could it be that God loved me, no matter what?