I think that most people think that eating disorders only plague the young. It usually starts then, but many people continue to struggle in adulthood.
I was one of them.
It was a constant cycle of guilt. Quilt, vowing to stop, eventually failing, guilt.
I sometimes went as long as three years of being free. Then I would fall back into the same patterns.
I led a double life. One where everything looked okay to others and one that was plagued with this secret battle.
I felt disgusting, helpless, afraid, and sure that God couldn’t love me. Eventually I fell into depression.